Why Zhou Yu Dances
by Rikku Leonhart
Summary: Have you ever wondered why Zhou Yu dances at the end of one of the musou modes in Dynasty Warriors 3? I have, and here's what I think. One shot. Complete.


Alright, here's the new and improved Why Zhou Yu Dances. The old one was just... horrible. Yech.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors. If I did, I think I'd know for sure why he dances.**

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Why Zhou Yu Dances**

Zhou Yu downed another drink, slamming the glass down onto the table and laughing loudly. Gan Ning had begun telling jokes that made no sense to anybody sober-- which would only include Lu Xun and the Qiao sisters. Both were dancing, their fans off to a corner with the other weapons. Zhou Yu saw Sun Ce watching his own wife as she twirled around, laughing happily with her sister.

"Hey, Zhou Yu!" Gan Ning roared loudly into the elegant man's ear.

Zhou Yu turned to look at the semi-drunken pirate, smiling goofily. "Yes?"

"Go dance." the pirate said cockily, a smile gracing his face.

"Absolutely not. You think I'm so drunk that I'd… I'd…" Zhou Yu totally forgot what he'd been saying and hiccupped loudly before downing another glass of wine.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see how long that lasts." Gan Ning stated smugly, turning to Ling Tong on his other side. "So, if I get him to dance and all that girly stuff, what'd you say you were going to give me?"

"I was thinking about persuading Lord Lu Meng to allow you into the kitchens for a week… or maybe a month. It depends."

"On?"

"If you can get him to sing."

"Deal." Gan Ning replied, pouring the rest of his wine into Zhou Yu's cup, who immediately downed it.

Gan Ning proceeded to pour more and more wine into Zhou Yu's glass. And, of course, Zhou Yu kept on downing more and more wine as it was poured into his drink. He was getting louder, and as he got louder, he laughed more and more. He even began to slur, Gan Ning soon came to find.

"Having fun, Zhou Yu?" Sun Ce called out to his friend.

Zhou Yu turned, a smile that made him look dumber than he really was evident on his face, and waved wildly. "'Ey, Sun Ce! Lookit dis here pirate! He's drunka' than a pickle!"

Sun Ce made an odd face as he thought for a moment. Then a smile slowly spread across his face and he waved Gan Ning over. The pirate frowned, thinking he was going to get in trouble for causing Zhou Yu to get as drunk as he was. As he headed over to Sun Ce, he took note of just how loudly Zhou Yu was talking, and how slurred his words were, and smirked to himself. No matter what, that month of access to the kitchens would be his.

"What's up?" Gan Ning questioned as he stood in front of Sun Ce.

The lord of Wu looked up at Gan Ning, humor bright in his eyes. "Have you been giving Zhou Yu a bit too much wine? He's drunk, and believe me, that ain't normal."

"It was Ling Tong's idea." the pirate retorted stubbornly.

"Oh? And what are you getting out of the deal?"

"The joy of seeing Zhou Yu make a complete fool of himself."

Sun Ce raised an eyebrow. "How will he do that just by getting drunk?"

"Oh, no, he won't. Not by getting drunk. Nope, we had something better in mind."

"Oh? I'd love to hear it…"

"What's in it for me?" Gan Ning questioned, crossing his arms and staring down at the other man.

"A month's worth of wine." Sun Ce immediately stated.

"Hmm… Tempting. Alright. We're going to get him to dance. Though, if I get him to sing, Ling Tong's going to get me into the kitchens for a month."

"If you can get him to sing and dance, I'll give you a whole year's worth of wine, and all the time in the kitchens you want." Sun Ce claimed, laughing. As if Zhou Yu would ever sing and dance!

"You've got yourself a deal." he replied as he turned and walked away. "Heh heh… sucker."

Zhou Yu laughed particularly loud at something that Ling Tong said, slamming both of his fists onto the table. His face was flushed, and he slurred so much that it was nearly impossible to understand him. Oh yeah, he was definitely drunk. Gan Ning sat down and patted him on the back roughly, laughing as if he was drunk as well.

"So what d'ya say, Zhou Yu? How 'bout a song?"

Zhou Yu nodded dumbly, not really grasping what was being said. Gan Ning frowned and hit him harder on the back, rephrasing his question. "Go on, Zhou Yu! Sing for us!"

Zhou Yu gave him a confused look, then burst out laughing and stood up shakily. Gan Ning helped steady him, and lead him onto the dancing area.

"I dun' wanna sing! Wha'm s'pposta sing?" he slurred out slowly, raising his eyebrows.

Gan Ning shrugged, and returned the look. "Make something up. Who cares! Go on, nobody's watching you anyhow. Have fun!" he said, turning to walk away. He paused and turned back to Zhou Yu. "Oh, and don't forget to dance. A song isn't a song without a dance."

The pirate returned to his seat next to Ling Tong, laughing at the slurred words that made no logical sense that were coming out of the strategist's mouth. When Zhou Yu twirled around, it only caused Gan Ning to laugh louder, and received angry yells from both Ling Tong and Sun Ce, who had now obviously lost their bet. The next day, Zhou Yu was sure to have a hangover, but for now, he was content with acting like a total and complete imbecile in front of all the major generals of Wu.

**Go ahead and tell me what you think. Definitely better than the last one, right? Reviews would be pretty cool. Cookies to all!**


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